One of the most common questions in my workshops is from parents of teenagers. “How can I strengthen my relationship with a child you doesn’t want to talk to me? Where do I even start?” This came up again during a recent workshop I did on How to Be Your Child’s Favorite Conversation Partner, so …
Three Ways to Reconnect with Your Silent Teenager Read More »
Assuming that I know what is going to happen is its own form of hubris but more importantly, in this case, is its own form of self-torture. Buying in to the belief that an unwanted event will happen, will certainly happen, is a way of gifting misery to myself.
Photo Credit: Wallace Chuck from Pexels Shower. Homework. Dishes. Less screen time. More outdoor time. Cover your cough. There are a lot of things we want our kids to do, and very often these are not the things on the top of their to-do list. They ignore, question, resist, protest, and argue. Sometimes it can …
The Alternative to “Because I Said So”: The Power of Buy-In Read More »
Trying to “solve” an upset child’s emotions is futile. What does work? Listening, caring, believing, and accepting. And even though I’ve been teaching this for a long time, of course I don’t always remember to apply this. I recently learned this lesson—yet again!—with the aid of my four year old son. The result of the conversation surprised me.
Making sure that you are well is good for your family and good for you. When we are well, we are able to handle challenges with intention and grace. When we are unwell, it becomes easier to say and do things that we later regret. I’m going to go over three categories of self-care–ways people …
Escape, Recharge, Invest: The Three Types of Self-Care Read More »
This is an excerpt from a draft for my upcoming book. I would love to receive your feedback – what made sense, what was confusing, what you would have liked me to expand on, and what was superfluous. Thank you as always for your support and inspiration. Training on listening often involves a great deal …
How to Look Like You Care (Hint: It’s Not Your Body Language) Read More »
“What is most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others.“ Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person Suffering is a very personal experience. Nobody else can feel our suffering. It’s easy to believe our suffering is special, …
A few weeks ago, Lian (my 2.5 year-old son) and I were getting ready for his nap. Lian picked a favorite book for us to read together, a story about a boy who befriends a porcupine, and carried it off to bed. By the time I got there, he was already reading the story to …
This post is part of a series about “should” We learn about shoulds from seeing other people judge us, themselves, and others. For the sake of this (admittedly one-sided) conversation, let’s say that to judge is to decide if something is good or bad, right or wrong. A judgment is very much an exercise in …
Where We Learn to Hurt Ourselves (aka the Origin of Should) Read More »
Pain itself is not the problem. Pain is not wrong. Resisting the existence of pain is what causes suffering.
